you got penged!

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20060326

because chee so KINDLY finished up my series on '10 ways to dump a ...' i shall be embarking on a new project. something which will be entirely my idea and something that nobody will be able to copy. so today i shall be touching on a few reasons why arsenal will totally thrash man u's arse come that crucial match.

one critical reason will be arsenal's french contingent. another is saha's return to form. one should note that saha himself is french, and probably only knows the language of the talking cocks. so what better team to communicate with than arsenal? so a typical dialogue in the arsenal penalty area will probably go like this:

(translated from french)
Pires: ah, saha, how is your mother?
Saha: my mother?
Toure: )@*#(@*&#@)!(*@!!!
Saha: what did he just say?
Henry: look saha your mother!
Saha: WHERE??

at that moment he corner kick originally aimed for saha will fly past him and he will miss a glorious chance to put man u ahead. so that takes care of man u's attack PARTIALLY.

what about rooney?

that will be easily taken care of with a strategically-placed signboard pointing toward the nearest brothel in London, preferably while his girlfriend is in the toilet. i trust wenger will also add a touch of flashing light bulbs to brighten it up. (make sure you dont play van persie in that same match though)

so that will be all on how to take man u's attack apart from the inside. watch out for strategies to tear their midfield to shreds soon!

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since 180106

20060326

because chee so KINDLY finished up my series on '10 ways to dump a ...' i shall be embarking on a new project. something which will be entirely my idea and something that nobody will be able to copy. so today i shall be touching on a few reasons why arsenal will totally thrash man u's arse come that crucial match.

one critical reason will be arsenal's french contingent. another is saha's return to form. one should note that saha himself is french, and probably only knows the language of the talking cocks. so what better team to communicate with than arsenal? so a typical dialogue in the arsenal penalty area will probably go like this:

(translated from french)
Pires: ah, saha, how is your mother?
Saha: my mother?
Toure: )@*#(@*&#@)!(*@!!!
Saha: what did he just say?
Henry: look saha your mother!
Saha: WHERE??

at that moment he corner kick originally aimed for saha will fly past him and he will miss a glorious chance to put man u ahead. so that takes care of man u's attack PARTIALLY.

what about rooney?

that will be easily taken care of with a strategically-placed signboard pointing toward the nearest brothel in London, preferably while his girlfriend is in the toilet. i trust wenger will also add a touch of flashing light bulbs to brighten it up. (make sure you dont play van persie in that same match though)

so that will be all on how to take man u's attack apart from the inside. watch out for strategies to tear their midfield to shreds soon!

i think, it is time for all to know the truth. the truth about pengopolis and its founders. (by the way, i suggest you read the about section for our names first. :D

it was a sunny afternoon. sir jeremy raffles, the pirate who got knighted when he gave the government 1 billion bucks for a ship worth 1 million, was sailing on that 1 million buck ship. the ship was manufactured in a factory by the notorious moses tan ah tek, whos so fat that anyone can carry him with one hand. of course, moses is just the useless fat skinny person whos a figurhead - his brother noah was the one who constructed it. moses had become lazy and had not practiced his skills, so when he wanted to part the straits of pengolin for us to reach pengopolis, he failed horribly and a shark flew at him, biting a huge chunk of his non existent flesh. ...
sorry i went off track. ok anyway, jeremy was aboard the ship, with his first mates apul and slau. he was using his special stainless steel carvin knife to cut up small pieces of cake to feed his blue water pokemon merrill. merrill was so happy he kept saying "merrill merrill". (a recording of this will be made available soon). so anyway, just as jeremy was about to feed his short little pokemon, tom, dick and harry, who were doing chin ups and showing off their pecs at the top of the mask, shouted, "LAND JAHOOY! LAND JAHOOY!"

WOOTWOOT! the ship landed on the clean white shores of some funky island which was full of big birds (daniels). Bentay the bouncer bounced onto the beach and after surveying the area with four knives in one hand, and a scissors blade in another, and said, "all clear! WILL you come down, sir?" Jeremy sed, "imma pirate, the knight thing is just corruption! gay officials. dun call me that. im anti-corruption ok"
anyway, it was lunch time already. jeremy's stomach was growling and even the strongest of tedric diggory's spells could not ease the damn gastric. as you all know : DING dong bell, PUSSY in the well. dingcat jumped into the sea and using his PURRPECT paws grabbed a prawn. jeremy the hungry pirate gobbled it up within one second.

heheh not hungry anymore. they strolled into the island, with bentay on a constant lookout. Bentay sed, "crap, i see SIMBA" Dingcat suddenly stood up and sed "if i'm not faster than that pirated cat, dont CALL ME DING." he strutted over to simba, flexing his pao-shaped calves. "wanna battle? j(g)otham racing style ok. i own in x-box. first to go to the sea and come back wins." of course, simba was humble and said "ok but i surely lose" anyway, they started, and 5 seconds later, simba was back. 15 minutes later, dingcat crawled back. dingcat said "its ok, you can still call me ding. i wont mind" ok so we shall call him ding from now on, even though there is a 99.99999% chance we wont be seeing him anymore.
simba led them to the pride rock and showed them the vast brown sea surrounding the island. "yuck! it looks like shiat!" mr pussycat said. (sorry, but there was still that 0.00001% chance) jeremy cuffed the cat and asked his trusted aide superman to fly to one of the islands and fly back. after a while, superman came back and reported, "theres this super nice place, but the only problem is that its teeming wif penguins and jackguins." jeremy said "nvm! lets get that place. i wanna be king, baby"

we ran all the way to our ship and started sailing for that island. suddenly, there was this great storm and the waves were as tall as seetow + tom. HOW. the crew tried throwing all the heavy stuffs off, but to no avail. even the throwing off of fat nat wasn't really helpful. at their wits' end, gan the librarian immediately put on his thinking jacket, and took a book from his massive collection of books. then, he summoned saint edmund. suddenly, ah hiok screamed. everyone was going to throw him abroad coz they thought he gone woozles when he suddenly said in a deep voice, " i am channeling the spirit of saint edmund. according to my boss, you have to throw kevinlim and his guitar, and the one who summoned me into the water then you will be okay." kevin was sporty enough to suicide, but not the librarian. too bad even though he learnt everything in theory from books, he could not apply houdini's trick of escaping from his wet jackect, and sunk into titanic which was 8000 feet below. suddenly the sky cleared and the ship skimmed like a kayak to the island of peng/jackguins. and this is the story of the founding of PENGOPOLIS.

history of pengopolis.
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archives.
links.