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20060429

guide to -ahem-

how apt! just before the common tests, i have decided to blog about

the Art of Copying (in STYLE!)

well ok the in style part is optional lah, but hey! that's why people love ronaldinho! over the course of the past two terms i have tried and experimented with different copying techniques, and discovered that many of them can work brilliantly if executed to perfection.

the first (and easiest) method is to get an accomplice, someone who is as suck at the subjects that you are pro at, and someone who is as pro at the subjects that you suck at! i believe this is called uhm...some -ism in biology, where both sides benefit. well it can be applied to that, as long as the questions of the subjects that you suck at are really too hard for you!

this brings me to the point of working together. how will you get the message across to your accomplice that you are having problems? well a simple signal like a cough, a trip to the toilet, or even a question for the invigilator could do the trick, and give your accomplice time to get the message, prepare his own, and decide how and when to pass it to you!

these methods can be decided beforehand, but i suggest the eraser method, because it is inconspicuous, and hardly gets you caught.

some of my friends used it once in the GEP entrance exams, and got caught cos they weren't going it properly. n00bs. no wonder never get through haha oops.

well anyway, before the test one should prepare as many small bits of erasers, large enough to write e=mc2 or v=f(lambda). both sides should have a larg enough stock of this, and when people ask you what it's for, say "to rub off my stuff lah duh!" this excuse, quite believable in fact, will throw anyone off gaurd, and it would be best if the invigilator asks you the question before the test. this would throw him or her off gaurd and he or she wouldnt be looking out for any stray bits of erasers that fall to the ground.

let it out didnt i? the method of eraser bits is to write an answer on the eraser and drop it on the floor, so it can be retrieved by your accomplice. missed? go pick it up yourself then! of course i didnt say that the two of you would need to be sitted next to each other because it is just too obvious enough to challenge you superior intellect (which can never be greater than mine because then you would have thought up all of this before me).

in any case your accomplice can also be the one who picks it up if its in the right position. erasers are much better than pieces of paper cos they dont make much noice. they just drop to the floor with a " ". no noise. perfect.

it would help to be on good terms with other members of the class, because they might tell on you when they find out what you are doing. so it wouldnt help very much if everybody else hates you and wants you to fail innit? it would provide them with the perfect opportunity to get you, right jotham?

but how would your accomplice know what question you are referring to? well you could use the famous "lift up the paper and show it to him!" quite like what the two small guys in "i not stupid" did when one of them didnt know how to do his test. but no, not that obvious actually. you could pretend to be referring to another question on another page, and after giving the signal, lift the page with the question that you dont know on it up, so that your accomplice will be able to see it. easy as pie!

another method to copying in style without the use of an accomplice, is the magnifying glass method! ok fine that's a little too hard, but hey! no harm trying right! its just a stright zero for your test paper!

well, that's just one way to chea...help yourself out during a test. more to come in the days to come, and may everybody have a joyous and fun ct period!
Comments:
nice article. I would love to follow you on twitter.
 

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