How to get girls the Peng way.
Peng, your language is abominable.
Thus I will try to sort it out and post it in readable, Academic English, taking out all the opinions and phrasing the facts straight, so that the rest of the class knows what you're talking about.
The opportunity cost of this is rewriting my Econs essay, but, oh well, Sowden! :D
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Now, let me tell you how to get your girl!
1) Don't swear in front of them. This upsets their sensibilities. Putting Peng in front of them will do the same thing - do not in any way appear to contribute to the fact of Peng's existence - for example, do not invite him to a party and then tell everyone that you invited him to the party - or you will be blamed when Peng upsets their sensibilities.
2) Try working out. Do something active, physical, lift weights, juggle dumbbells, work on those chin-ups. It is important to remember that where the weights are concerned, Titus is your king (one... two... three... four... five... ... sexy.). Physical work contributes to muscle development and testosterone production, which makes you especially attractive when girls are ovulating.
3) Have nice hair. Although this is subjective, suffice to say afros aren't always the way to go. Also, try not to get something that makes your head look bigger than it already is, as bigheaded people are intimidating and may upset sensibilities, etc, etc, of the fairer sex. Some people like adding highlights into their hair to accentuate their styles; personally, I prefer this to dyeing, which is obnoxious in the extreme.
4) Learn how to play an instrument. This applies especially if you can't do 2) (although we have people like Hiok who can do both, possibly at the same time, and probably look pretty cool doing it too D:). A good instrument to learn is the guitar, which is pretty portable or can always be borrowed from some other wannabe wooer. Drat, that wasn't very academic, was it? Oh well, it stays; it's alliteration. Do not, however, go to instruments like the flute and violin. The bamboo flute was all very good for Chinese 秀才, but, you know, it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi in the field of Masculinity. The band flutes make lovely music, but once again are more a girl's domain. The violin makes nice sounds accompanied but can be annoying alone. Music soothes and impresses at the same time, and is good for setting the mood with which you would like to approach or talk to a girl or group of girls.
5) Just learn from me. No, serious, ask Moose, Leo and Peng Seng how many different girls they've caught me with over the past week; walking home, or in KFC, or together in the canteen :D
6) Steer clear of the gossipy type. I cannot stress this enough. They will make you emo and write F-words on your MSN nick.
taking the piss out of Peng,
Thus I will try to sort it out and post it in readable, Academic English, taking out all the opinions and phrasing the facts straight, so that the rest of the class knows what you're talking about.
The opportunity cost of this is rewriting my Econs essay, but, oh well, Sowden! :D
---
---
Now, let me tell you how to get your girl!
1) Don't swear in front of them. This upsets their sensibilities. Putting Peng in front of them will do the same thing - do not in any way appear to contribute to the fact of Peng's existence - for example, do not invite him to a party and then tell everyone that you invited him to the party - or you will be blamed when Peng upsets their sensibilities.
2) Try working out. Do something active, physical, lift weights, juggle dumbbells, work on those chin-ups. It is important to remember that where the weights are concerned, Titus is your king (one... two... three... four... five... ... sexy.). Physical work contributes to muscle development and testosterone production, which makes you especially attractive when girls are ovulating.
3) Have nice hair. Although this is subjective, suffice to say afros aren't always the way to go. Also, try not to get something that makes your head look bigger than it already is, as bigheaded people are intimidating and may upset sensibilities, etc, etc, of the fairer sex. Some people like adding highlights into their hair to accentuate their styles; personally, I prefer this to dyeing, which is obnoxious in the extreme.
4) Learn how to play an instrument. This applies especially if you can't do 2) (although we have people like Hiok who can do both, possibly at the same time, and probably look pretty cool doing it too D:). A good instrument to learn is the guitar, which is pretty portable or can always be borrowed from some other wannabe wooer. Drat, that wasn't very academic, was it? Oh well, it stays; it's alliteration. Do not, however, go to instruments like the flute and violin. The bamboo flute was all very good for Chinese 秀才, but, you know, it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi in the field of Masculinity. The band flutes make lovely music, but once again are more a girl's domain. The violin makes nice sounds accompanied but can be annoying alone. Music soothes and impresses at the same time, and is good for setting the mood with which you would like to approach or talk to a girl or group of girls.
5) Just learn from me. No, serious, ask Moose, Leo and Peng Seng how many different girls they've caught me with over the past week; walking home, or in KFC, or together in the canteen :D
6) Steer clear of the gossipy type. I cannot stress this enough. They will make you emo and write F-words on your MSN nick.
taking the piss out of Peng,