right i knew these would come in handy some day...
good night...shit i got so much work to do...
good night...shit i got so much work to do...
20060225
20060224
The UNTOLD history of post-founding Pengopolis
New days, new discoveries, as they say. Just a few score days ago, the team at yougotpenged unearthed something drastic. It concerned the very foundations of pengopolis, and that pengopolis would not have survived to this day if this object was not present. We would focus on the history of a certain prestigious individual.
He is known by many, many names. But now, we'll just refer to him as...
the 574U.
In the old, old, days, when Pengopolis was first founded by the Great Peng, it was a hard time for Pengopolis. There was rampant unlawful deeds happening, such as shitting around the great peng river, and doing shady deals in the dark street corners.
The Great Peng had to think of something to curb these unlawful deeds. He had to get something to bless the land of Pengopolis, to make it bask in the favor of the gods, to attract the luck of a thousand years.
He racked his brain, for seven and seven and fourty nine days, to think up something that would subject the land of Pengopolis to glory and power.
Finally, in a stroke of genius, an idea came to him!
He could make a statue of himself, and bless it with every once of magical energy he had, every single fibre in his body for it, and hid it somewhere in the deepest recesses of the wildest jungle, the fiercest river, and make it bless the land of Pengopolis.
He had this statue done, and instructed his followers to never reveal the hiding place of the statue. And he journeyed through the jungles of Pengopolis with his one trusted follower, which we would reveal later. They journeyed through the rivers, the volcanoes, the seas, and braved all dangers in the land of Pengopolis, and finally, came to a secluded area of holiness. The Great Peng immediately knew this was to be the spot, and lay down the statue. He blessed it with all his magical prowness, and in his dying breath, asked his loyal companion to bury him in a secret location, and guard this statue with his life. And in his last few seconds of conciousness, he reached deep within his recesses and blessed this trusted companions with all the knowledge of his powers, all the spells he ever known, his physical prowness, and lastly, he writtled his last breath, and went to eternal sleep. His body turned into shards of light, and disappeared into the surrounding air.
This trusted follower grieved deeply with the other followers of the Great Peng, and decided to erect a tomb near his old place of residence, the house of the Great Peng. He then made a gravestone that read "the resting place of the Great Peng, who all made us believe the truths of the world. Woot woot.".
Now, the trusted follower's name was 574U.
He travelled back to the place of the statue, and guarded it faithfully, every single day of his life.
Until something happened.
The most disastrous things struck Pengopolis.
RAIDERS arrived at the shore of Pengopolis. In this kind of ship.
They have heard the luck of Pengopolis, and were attracted to it light moths to a flame.
They raided the land of Pengopolis, slaughtering and butchering, and none could stop them, as they had very advanced and destructive items, such as the i-ex-plod, which was innocent looking but was 10 times more explosive than a grenade, or the cooked ka cooked la, which was a very high-tech microwave which could kill someone in a single shot, and the hand-phui-own, which was something that was mobile and could spit corrosive acid.
Such weapons of mass destruction was never seen by the people of Pengopolis, who never came to the art of Warcraft. These people however, knew the art of warcraft 1, 2, and 3, plus they were well-suited to the cold of Pengopolis, since their leader sat on a frozen throne.
These people raided till they found the tomb of the Great Peng, and they did something unimaginable...
They defiled the ancient tomb! They threw their most powerful weaponry, like their gooodgame-boy advance (super powered), and their xxxboxs, which were the worst of the worst kind of things that they could do. They entered the sacred tomb, which held tons of coolios and ancient relics which were worth as much as cities, but they pissed on them.
They came to an altar, and there, rested the Great Peng's directions to find the statue. They were overjoyed, and those unclean raiders spent their night raping, torturing, and doing whatever that wanted in the land of Pengopolis.
The next day, they set off their journey to the Great Peng's statue.
They went the shortcuts, disregarding any sacred places they desecreated, and went to the statue. However, they did not count on one thing...
the 574U.
After guarding the Sacred Relic for dozens of years, he developed a weapon called the Divine Rapier, which he fused from an edgey demon, powers of the sacred relic, and a single claymore discarded and was found by the 574U. Furthermore, he achieved a shield of aegis the great, which was one that could revive him forever.
He was standing guard as usual when a rustle of peters' twigs stirred him into defensive mode. He then activated his STEALTH MODE, which melded him into the shadows, thus earning the name shadowmeld.
He saw, with shock that raiders carrying advanced shit weapons came into view, and saw the statue of the Great Peng. He was shocked, that he almost did not react.
But he did, fortunately, and crept slowly behind the last man. The men were so entranced by the magical energies that the statue gave off that they did not notice a shadow creeping over to them. Only the last man, who was least affected, saw a shadow twitch behind him. He turned over to see a sword going straight for his jagular, and was killed, but not before screaming in surprise.
This alerted the team of raiders. They turned around rapidly and faced the enemy. 574U was calm and collected, and as quick as lightning, slashed one of the raiders down again. The rest of the raiders knew they were facing a skilled opponent, and prepared their weapons.
They fired, a blazing display of sights and the occasional smell, but the 574U was not even fazed. He was more interested in a fly flying around his nose, and held on one finger to stop the attack, while his other hand tried to swat the fly, while his feet killed all of the raiders in one shot except for one who slid to the ground. The leader.
The raider knew it was hopeless. But as one of the slightly smarter ones, he remembered something in the legend of the Great Peng. His first follower was a very, very, very avid fan of softball. Albeit a very lousy player/ catcher at it, he was really mesmerized whenever a softball came into his sight, and would do anything to have it.
The raider pulled out a softball, and 574U was defeated. Instantly, he lost his will to move, only focussed on the ever round shape of the ball, with small contours along the side, and to him, it was as desirable as the chioer chioest bu.
The raider calmly told 574U to hand him the statue, and 574U had no choice but to do so. He then used the softball as a softball shield, to stop the 574U from attacking him. But the 574U had other tricks up his sleeve.
As defendant of the statue for many, many milleniums, he busked in the statue's aura, and with his knowledge of the Great Peng's awesome power, he received almost an immortal status. furthermore, he received unique powers everytime he defeated an enemy, and that unique power was always the enemy's special, ultimate skill.
So 574U thought about his arsenal. He could use a ultra-fart he got from the water pokemon, azumerrill merrill, or he could also use the super paperknifepellet attack he received from someone called... crazy? or benzy? or bentay or whatever.
But in a span of a microsecond, he decided to use his ultimate skill,, a combination of a web and saliva, which he received from an itsy bitsy spider which was climbing up the wall.
He used it, and pwned the guy.
He then ate him. And received his power which was to look at others and make them punch your face.
Anyway, he returned the statue, and all was well.
In the milleniums that followed, he was always the faithful guarder of the statue, but he always still had that secret fetish for softballs.
So, now, with the evolution of technology and wording, he is known as slau. an identical image of his old name, where numbers were used, he now goes as a more discreet person.
He resides now in the residence of 3P, but should need arise, he would never delay for a second to defend the statue of the Great Peng, as he was his first follower.
But he has forgotten one thing.
He did not bring his softballs along with him, those that were blessed with holypower. And used common ones which he could not bat with as his skill was too lousy to be utilized without additional help from the holy powers. So he team killed his teammate, his old enemy, the decendant of the water pokemon, azumerrill merrill, who is now merrill merrill.
Or was it just a ploy to destroy his old enemy's decendant?
Who would know...
But one thing we do know...
That is the world of Pengopolis would not be like today if not for the dedication of the 574U.
The world depends on him.
He is known by many, many names. But now, we'll just refer to him as...
the 574U.
In the old, old, days, when Pengopolis was first founded by the Great Peng, it was a hard time for Pengopolis. There was rampant unlawful deeds happening, such as shitting around the great peng river, and doing shady deals in the dark street corners.
The Great Peng had to think of something to curb these unlawful deeds. He had to get something to bless the land of Pengopolis, to make it bask in the favor of the gods, to attract the luck of a thousand years.
He racked his brain, for seven and seven and fourty nine days, to think up something that would subject the land of Pengopolis to glory and power.
Finally, in a stroke of genius, an idea came to him!
He could make a statue of himself, and bless it with every once of magical energy he had, every single fibre in his body for it, and hid it somewhere in the deepest recesses of the wildest jungle, the fiercest river, and make it bless the land of Pengopolis.
He had this statue done, and instructed his followers to never reveal the hiding place of the statue. And he journeyed through the jungles of Pengopolis with his one trusted follower, which we would reveal later. They journeyed through the rivers, the volcanoes, the seas, and braved all dangers in the land of Pengopolis, and finally, came to a secluded area of holiness. The Great Peng immediately knew this was to be the spot, and lay down the statue. He blessed it with all his magical prowness, and in his dying breath, asked his loyal companion to bury him in a secret location, and guard this statue with his life. And in his last few seconds of conciousness, he reached deep within his recesses and blessed this trusted companions with all the knowledge of his powers, all the spells he ever known, his physical prowness, and lastly, he writtled his last breath, and went to eternal sleep. His body turned into shards of light, and disappeared into the surrounding air.
This trusted follower grieved deeply with the other followers of the Great Peng, and decided to erect a tomb near his old place of residence, the house of the Great Peng. He then made a gravestone that read "the resting place of the Great Peng, who all made us believe the truths of the world. Woot woot.".
Now, the trusted follower's name was 574U.
He travelled back to the place of the statue, and guarded it faithfully, every single day of his life.
Until something happened.
The most disastrous things struck Pengopolis.
RAIDERS arrived at the shore of Pengopolis. In this kind of ship.
They have heard the luck of Pengopolis, and were attracted to it light moths to a flame.
They raided the land of Pengopolis, slaughtering and butchering, and none could stop them, as they had very advanced and destructive items, such as the i-ex-plod, which was innocent looking but was 10 times more explosive than a grenade, or the cooked ka cooked la, which was a very high-tech microwave which could kill someone in a single shot, and the hand-phui-own, which was something that was mobile and could spit corrosive acid.
Such weapons of mass destruction was never seen by the people of Pengopolis, who never came to the art of Warcraft. These people however, knew the art of warcraft 1, 2, and 3, plus they were well-suited to the cold of Pengopolis, since their leader sat on a frozen throne.
These people raided till they found the tomb of the Great Peng, and they did something unimaginable...
They defiled the ancient tomb! They threw their most powerful weaponry, like their gooodgame-boy advance (super powered), and their xxxboxs, which were the worst of the worst kind of things that they could do. They entered the sacred tomb, which held tons of coolios and ancient relics which were worth as much as cities, but they pissed on them.
They came to an altar, and there, rested the Great Peng's directions to find the statue. They were overjoyed, and those unclean raiders spent their night raping, torturing, and doing whatever that wanted in the land of Pengopolis.
The next day, they set off their journey to the Great Peng's statue.
They went the shortcuts, disregarding any sacred places they desecreated, and went to the statue. However, they did not count on one thing...
the 574U.
After guarding the Sacred Relic for dozens of years, he developed a weapon called the Divine Rapier, which he fused from an edgey demon, powers of the sacred relic, and a single claymore discarded and was found by the 574U. Furthermore, he achieved a shield of aegis the great, which was one that could revive him forever.
He was standing guard as usual when a rustle of peters' twigs stirred him into defensive mode. He then activated his STEALTH MODE, which melded him into the shadows, thus earning the name shadowmeld.
He saw, with shock that raiders carrying advanced shit weapons came into view, and saw the statue of the Great Peng. He was shocked, that he almost did not react.
But he did, fortunately, and crept slowly behind the last man. The men were so entranced by the magical energies that the statue gave off that they did not notice a shadow creeping over to them. Only the last man, who was least affected, saw a shadow twitch behind him. He turned over to see a sword going straight for his jagular, and was killed, but not before screaming in surprise.
This alerted the team of raiders. They turned around rapidly and faced the enemy. 574U was calm and collected, and as quick as lightning, slashed one of the raiders down again. The rest of the raiders knew they were facing a skilled opponent, and prepared their weapons.
They fired, a blazing display of sights and the occasional smell, but the 574U was not even fazed. He was more interested in a fly flying around his nose, and held on one finger to stop the attack, while his other hand tried to swat the fly, while his feet killed all of the raiders in one shot except for one who slid to the ground. The leader.
The raider knew it was hopeless. But as one of the slightly smarter ones, he remembered something in the legend of the Great Peng. His first follower was a very, very, very avid fan of softball. Albeit a very lousy player/ catcher at it, he was really mesmerized whenever a softball came into his sight, and would do anything to have it.
The raider pulled out a softball, and 574U was defeated. Instantly, he lost his will to move, only focussed on the ever round shape of the ball, with small contours along the side, and to him, it was as desirable as the chioer chioest bu.
The raider calmly told 574U to hand him the statue, and 574U had no choice but to do so. He then used the softball as a softball shield, to stop the 574U from attacking him. But the 574U had other tricks up his sleeve.
As defendant of the statue for many, many milleniums, he busked in the statue's aura, and with his knowledge of the Great Peng's awesome power, he received almost an immortal status. furthermore, he received unique powers everytime he defeated an enemy, and that unique power was always the enemy's special, ultimate skill.
So 574U thought about his arsenal. He could use a ultra-fart he got from the water pokemon, azumerrill merrill, or he could also use the super paperknifepellet attack he received from someone called... crazy? or benzy? or bentay or whatever.
But in a span of a microsecond, he decided to use his ultimate skill,, a combination of a web and saliva, which he received from an itsy bitsy spider which was climbing up the wall.
He used it, and pwned the guy.
He then ate him. And received his power which was to look at others and make them punch your face.
Anyway, he returned the statue, and all was well.
In the milleniums that followed, he was always the faithful guarder of the statue, but he always still had that secret fetish for softballs.
So, now, with the evolution of technology and wording, he is known as slau. an identical image of his old name, where numbers were used, he now goes as a more discreet person.
He resides now in the residence of 3P, but should need arise, he would never delay for a second to defend the statue of the Great Peng, as he was his first follower.
But he has forgotten one thing.
He did not bring his softballs along with him, those that were blessed with holypower. And used common ones which he could not bat with as his skill was too lousy to be utilized without additional help from the holy powers. So he team killed his teammate, his old enemy, the decendant of the water pokemon, azumerrill merrill, who is now merrill merrill.
Or was it just a ploy to destroy his old enemy's decendant?
Who would know...
But one thing we do know...
That is the world of Pengopolis would not be like today if not for the dedication of the 574U.
The world depends on him.
ok, let's get some things straight: what in the world happened to yougotpenged?
well, putting it simply, we got hacked.
ok fine, I got hacked.
by some deranged hacker who obviously had some kind of vendetta against us (and i could imagine quite a few people who do).
so now we're starting all over again, and please show us your kind support by returning to yougotpenged faithfully everyday.
seriously its freaky you noe.
now xiaxue is finding that her posts are mysteriously disappearing like ours did about two weeks ago.
and we kena hacked like xiaxue.
we own, unfortunately like xiaxue.
are we the new xiaxue?
only time will tell.
well, putting it simply, we got hacked.
ok fine, I got hacked.
by some deranged hacker who obviously had some kind of vendetta against us (and i could imagine quite a few people who do).
so now we're starting all over again, and please show us your kind support by returning to yougotpenged faithfully everyday.
seriously its freaky you noe.
now xiaxue is finding that her posts are mysteriously disappearing like ours did about two weeks ago.
and we kena hacked like xiaxue.
we own, unfortunately like xiaxue.
are we the new xiaxue?
only time will tell.
The Head of Enormous Proportions
ok, so to kickstart the revival of yougotpenged, we shall start off with a nice little story, about a head of enormous proportions.
actually it isnt really much of a story, more of a scientific research study made by some inquisitive gentic scientists who decided to go on a journey to reach into the deepest depths of imagination and unlock the key that held the treasure chest of knowledge shut.
ok basically they decided to fuse the head of a puffer fish to the body of a penguin.
this was the unfortunate result, the monstrosity called the
actually it isnt really much of a story, more of a scientific research study made by some inquisitive gentic scientists who decided to go on a journey to reach into the deepest depths of imagination and unlock the key that held the treasure chest of knowledge shut.
ok basically they decided to fuse the head of a puffer fish to the body of a penguin.
this was the unfortunate result, the monstrosity called the
Peng Puffer
so wat can this freak of nature do? well it still retains all the natural characteristics of a penguin and a puffer fish, which means it can now blow its head up to enormous proportions, making it the PENGUIN with a HEAD of ENORMOUS proportions!
0ooo...freaky...
and one day the same group of german scientists made a trip to the moon, where they planned to look down and study the earth from space. however, when they went up, they were unable to see the earth!
"oh no what could be happening?" herr Llirrem asked quizzically.
"the earth has been swallowed up by a giant black hole!" herr Wotees replied with astonishment.
"isnt astonishment the wrong word to use then, because he should be terrified or anxious because now he has nowhere to go back to!" herr Nag pointed out.
with heavy hearts the scientists (who should really be called astronauts by now) moved to another position, trying with all their might to find the earth.
but they found something else...
"I see it!" herr Llirrem exclaimed.
"What?" the other two herrs asked as they scuttled over to the window, looking toward the direction that herr Llirrem's finger was pointed toward.
and their jaws almost dropped.
it was something like a bowling pin, but without the flat base, and a rounded one instead.
"what could that large growth be?" herr Wotees asked quizzically.
"i have no idea, even with my thinking jacket pulled tightly over my body," herr Nag said. "i think we should go back to earth and check it out."
so, they flew back toward the earth, the larger circle in their perspective.
but when they landed, all they could find was giant strands of black grass, sprouting out all over them.
"can you feel the earth throbbing under you?" herr Llirrem asked quizzically.
"Yes! and surprisingly it is to the same rhythm as my pulse!" herr Wotees exclaimed.
"it's almost as if we're standing on some kind of giant head!" herr Nag replied.
and herr Nag was almost right this time, for what they were standing on was really
The Head of Enormous Proportions
and the smaller bump was really the earth. well i guess they just got PENGED!
and before i leave, allow me to leave you with some food for thought.
is SANTA CLAUS real?
this might prove he just could be!
and finally, the last piece of the puzzle falls into place - some screwed up hacker somehow managed to get the blog deleted...
using the same predictive powers that enabled me to predict an arsenal underdog victory over real at the bernabeu, i forsee the powers that be in the blogging world shifting over to this small, insignificant blog of p3nged up people. so enjoy the revival while it lasts.
using the same predictive powers that enabled me to predict an arsenal underdog victory over real at the bernabeu, i forsee the powers that be in the blogging world shifting over to this small, insignificant blog of p3nged up people. so enjoy the revival while it lasts.