10 ways to dump a gay

are u gay? are u a hot gay? are u so hot a gay that other gays can't stand looking at you going out with another gay? (ok sheesh this is sick man). anyway, in line with my previous posts on 10 ways to dump a girl and 10 ways to dump a guy, this is another entry on 10 ways to dump a gAy. please not that by gay i do not mean the adjective, but i am referring to the noun instead. and i chose not to use homosexual because i think the word is just too freaking long and would be a bloody waste of time cos i would then need to type male homosexual instead because if i did not people would be asking me what about lesbians. so gay it is. and if you didnt bother reading this paragraph well then too bad for you.

so anyway like all the previous entries this one will tell you the best 10 ways to dump a gay, or to get the gay to dump you. read it, love it, and most of all APPLY it. no application means no results, as i always say. which is why when you dont apply the proper methods of test preparation you get no results.

well, on to the main topic then!

1) become straight!
2) become straight!
3) become straight!
4) if you're really clever you would have guessed this one too.
5) and this one also.
6) as well as this one.
7) no problems with this one either.
8) or this one.
9) kill him.
10) kill yourself.

so basically either you become straight or you eliminate the problem (which is either yourself or him. but in the end you'll still die cos singapore police will get you!). in other words if you want to dump a gay dont be a gay in the first place! its utterly nonsensical! haha!

glad to be of help! byebye!

art.

A long long time ago, there was this person called Salvador Dali. He was a surrealist painter, which meant that he painted whatever that came to his mind in his dreams la. so... he painted this.

Ancient cultures believe that dreams are a way of which gods convey messages to men. So here, the gods must have warned this certain Salvador Dali that their was this great person who was going to change the world, and who looked like this, complete with the extra large head and the body parts which look like tiny sticks, look before that actual person was born.

His name was Peng.

10 ways to dump a guy

girls! this is for you! ever been so hot that you have guys slobbering at your feet, dying to serve your every whim? ever had that irritating boyfriend who stands you up for hours on end? well THIS is the giude for you! in conjunction with our post on 10 ways to dump a girl comes this all-new post on 10 ways to dump a guy!

read it, enjoy it, but most of all, apply it. it surely works. if one doesnt, then the others will!

1) get another boyfriend! that's the most effective. and it would really help if he was a rugger or swimmer (or softballer) cos they will surely go beat him up for you (especially if he's a sissy choir boy). that would really get him off your sleeve! but watch out that he doesnt come read this blog or he might employ one of the deadly 10 tactics to get you dumped!

2) get him arrested for outrage of modesty! police are trained to catch these kind of people, and who wouldnt believe a whining, crying desperate girl? just try to make it as real as you can. tugging on his long blue jeans would help too!

3) become a les! the most embarrasing of all the solutions! but hey, if you're desperate anything would do wouldnt it! just go and confess to him! and its really simple too - if you need to dump her, just come back and read the previous post! of course becoming a gay would mean reverting back to your straight status. its all rather confusing but no worries you'll get used to it.

4) join a cult. i realized in my previous post that pretending to join a cult would maybe be too unbelievable. so join one! or you could form your own one! and state that every member must not have a boyfriend! and back it up with sop stories about how you cant live without it because of yadayada reasons!

5) send him a present under the name of another hot hot girl! then he would be too busy going to find out whether she really has the hots for him to give you a valentines day present! then that would give you the perfect excuse to dump him! haha smart right! yala i noe lah...

6) pack up and leave for the army! ok fine maybe its not so easy in singapore, but i heard that malaysia does have a female army!

7) sabo him! get him placed under permanent 'detention'! get him to flirt with his best friends sister!! haha it really is very simple - while he's standing next to him give her a push so that she falls onto him or something. that would really get his best friend riled up and they'll end up fighting and get placed in detention mwahahah!

8) tell him you dumped him.

9) kill him.

10) kill yourself.

glad to be of help! enjoy!

10 ways to dump a girl

are u hot? have u ever found yourself in a situation where girls are just swarming over you? are you with a girlfriend that you just hate to be with, but you're too afraid to dump her because her mom is your principal??

never fear, these are the 10 easiests ways to dump a girl that you are just sick of being with.

1) get another girlfriend! this is probably the easiest way to get rid of your present girlfriend. and it doesnt even have to be real! just tell a fib and watch her break into tears and try to bring back the old times of when you two used to go to the cinema together and feed each other popcorn (of course that was before she became the total b*tch she is now).

2) tell her you're off to fight a war, and you have gotten yourself a robot replacement without any love or feelings for members of the opposite sex. this is totally believable because she can never tell whether you're real or not, or she would have been smart enough to take the hint that you dun like her. when she questions you, just reply with a 'cant tell you its top secret. you wouldnt want the enemy to find out would you?'

3) become gay! best alternative! and also the most embarassing! but if youre that desperate, anything would do wouldnt it?

4) say you've joined a cult that states that you cannot be attached to any member of the opposite sex, or feel love for any woman. this is a much more face-saving alternative to solution 3, but still achieves the same effect. actually, all of them probably do or i wouldnt have included them in this list would i?

5) send her a present under the name of another hot hot guy. this would work best around valentines day, and if u dont give her a present, shell get really pissed. and take any other guy who gives her a present! you see one of the rules in gbrs is that the guy HAS to give the girl a present on valentines day. so if you dont, youre dumped! and thats what you want isnt it?

6) find another guy who has the hots for her and pretend to fight for her love, right in front of her. lose on purpose and watch him carry her away (dont forget the fake tears after that). if you're lucky he might just give you a small fee for you troubles. more than enough to cover your hospital bills i hope.

7) or you could just pack up and leave for another country.

8) exams always fit the bill. tell her you will spend more time with her after examinations (and they wont stop coming especially in rp) so effectively shes on her own from then. very soon she'll just forget all about you. (hey whadoyanoe? rp really IS good for something!)

9) kill her.

10) kill yourself!

:) pleasure to be of help!

i dunno if chee is going to post today lah but he got something really interesting haha w0rx.

anyway in view of what he is going to post, i would like to ask an interesting question: why do people +yP3 LiKe Diz w0rx?

izit cos they have nothing better to do?

izit cos they have no better way to type?

izit cos they seriously want to alter the entire alphabet system and take over the world in the proess establishing a leadership hierachy that forces the implementation of cute typing?

neither.

these people are really sad people.

it is because they have nothing cute to express their love to that they have to express it in public writing.

and people like retardpatrol ridicule them like they are nothing. in fact they are really sad, sad people.

so spare a thought for this pathetic bloggers. they have a heart too you know.

fifa street 2

well, since im still awake, i might as well get today's post done with. and today i shall be commenting, not on life, not on cock, but on fifa street 2!

yes fifa street 2, something that i have been craving to get all my life ever since i saw it in the march issue of gameaxis. too bad there was no review, so i gan gan just go and buy. that's what money is to me, gan gan qu yong. i think when i grow up ill be a garlic seller so maybe i can like strike garlic gold and get the best garlic importer in the world den everybody will buy my garlic.

well, my first impression of fifa street 2 was of f*ck its going to be the same as fifa street. no but it wasnt. the first thing that struck me was the shitty music.

wth lah what king of lyrics are these:

you are the sun
my only one

NO WONDER i kena lose to medium difficulty opponents.

so, as always, i tested out the game on mode. i have no idea why people keep changing the names of the different options. cant they just leave it as game on? why change it to play on or match on or click this thing to play a game between random teams that you can choose yourself although i have no idea why ea sports sets the same team as default all the time when i hate using it.

brazil vs south korea (obviously u noe which team i was using)

and i lost

cb i lost!

well one of the reasons is the stoopid decision to make almost every trick a lockable, so you see yourself doing the same trick over n over again. and only when you reach a certain level in rule the street mode would you then have a considerable repetoire at your disposal. (wah never knew repetoire was in my blogging dictionary. who cares if i spelt it wrong).

and now they make it such that the camera is overhead. what kind of suck angle is that wah lau u cant bloody see the ball at all lah. and especially when they make the f*cking tackling so bloody difficult...

and now there's some new option that allows you to perform the ultimate come back from 4-0 down with a gamebreaker. you get past all the three opposing players (and score), you win the game regardless of the score.

and nba street is enough. fifa street does not need to have trick point challenges because basically medium is too f*cking difficult for any beginner to get past. it says a lot when i actually took 30 minutes to master tackling, and another 10 minutes to get past the first six challenges which made up the first two series. hell, in fifa street i breezes through all of them.

so in my opinion fifa street 2 isnt really something worth buying. save up for the 360, its bound to produce better.

oh and did i mention that xbox360 games now cost a hafty 74.90? i bought fifa street at 59.90 and project gotham racing was going for 74.90 wth. must be more gan then can simply buy like what i did today. maybe i should listen to mc and get pirated ones.

post to take up the one post per day quota

this is a post to take up the one post per day quota

ri vs acs barker. who will win?

It hanow i have put forth this very interesting question about tomorrow's

waterpolo match, ri vs acs barker. i believe both teams are relatively

evenly matched, however, ri do have several distinct advantages.


first,




acs

barker crest so short ri so long so this represents our endurance

level, showing that ri players have much more stamina than barker

players.


second,




this

shows that ri boys can spell while barker boys cannot spell, thus

leading to a miscommunication and a screw up between the barker boys.

(this pic of acs baker is a swimming cap which i bought and is in no

case meant to be defamatory to the school of Anglo Chinese School

Barker Road, and that there is such a swimming cap)



enjoy.

today i shall attempt to answer one of life's many questions - what is life?

well, one of the first things you have to know about life is that it has questions, or this post would have been impossible.

but so what if it has questions? does it make it questionable? no? is life questionable? would it be questionable if im questioning it now?

so life is questionable.

is life always right?

is it? do you regret the time you poured hot soup onto your face and ended up looking like the shit you are now? yes? so were you right?

hell no.

so life isnt always right.

does life have a head?

probably, since it knows exactly when to screw you up at just the right time. like how it made the soup hot just at the moment you poured it onto your face. if it had been cold, then it wouldnt have made much of a difference, since you would only have been smelling like a fish.

so my guess is that life has a head.

but what about the other organs? can life have sex?

look at your children (if you have one) isnt it the result of life having sex? two of your lives having sex? no? yes? no?

so life is completely human if you look at it.

so in simple words, life is a garlic seller.

a garlic seller is questionable as he may be selling rotten garlics, and he knows when to screw you up with a well placed garlic right beneath the sole of your shoe so that you slip and fall on your butt. and he seriously has all his organs in place.

life is a garlic seller, and dont you forget it.

10 ways to dump a gay

are u gay? are u a hot gay? are u so hot a gay that other gays can't stand looking at you going out with another gay? (ok sheesh this is sick man). anyway, in line with my previous posts on 10 ways to dump a girl and 10 ways to dump a guy, this is another entry on 10 ways to dump a gAy. please not that by gay i do not mean the adjective, but i am referring to the noun instead. and i chose not to use homosexual because i think the word is just too freaking long and would be a bloody waste of time cos i would then need to type male homosexual instead because if i did not people would be asking me what about lesbians. so gay it is. and if you didnt bother reading this paragraph well then too bad for you.

so anyway like all the previous entries this one will tell you the best 10 ways to dump a gay, or to get the gay to dump you. read it, love it, and most of all APPLY it. no application means no results, as i always say. which is why when you dont apply the proper methods of test preparation you get no results.

well, on to the main topic then!

1) become straight!
2) become straight!
3) become straight!
4) if you're really clever you would have guessed this one too.
5) and this one also.
6) as well as this one.
7) no problems with this one either.
8) or this one.
9) kill him.
10) kill yourself.

so basically either you become straight or you eliminate the problem (which is either yourself or him. but in the end you'll still die cos singapore police will get you!). in other words if you want to dump a gay dont be a gay in the first place! its utterly nonsensical! haha!

glad to be of help! byebye!

art.

A long long time ago, there was this person called Salvador Dali. He was a surrealist painter, which meant that he painted whatever that came to his mind in his dreams la. so... he painted this.

Ancient cultures believe that dreams are a way of which gods convey messages to men. So here, the gods must have warned this certain Salvador Dali that their was this great person who was going to change the world, and who looked like this, complete with the extra large head and the body parts which look like tiny sticks, look before that actual person was born.

His name was Peng.

10 ways to dump a guy

girls! this is for you! ever been so hot that you have guys slobbering at your feet, dying to serve your every whim? ever had that irritating boyfriend who stands you up for hours on end? well THIS is the giude for you! in conjunction with our post on 10 ways to dump a girl comes this all-new post on 10 ways to dump a guy!

read it, enjoy it, but most of all, apply it. it surely works. if one doesnt, then the others will!

1) get another boyfriend! that's the most effective. and it would really help if he was a rugger or swimmer (or softballer) cos they will surely go beat him up for you (especially if he's a sissy choir boy). that would really get him off your sleeve! but watch out that he doesnt come read this blog or he might employ one of the deadly 10 tactics to get you dumped!

2) get him arrested for outrage of modesty! police are trained to catch these kind of people, and who wouldnt believe a whining, crying desperate girl? just try to make it as real as you can. tugging on his long blue jeans would help too!

3) become a les! the most embarrasing of all the solutions! but hey, if you're desperate anything would do wouldnt it! just go and confess to him! and its really simple too - if you need to dump her, just come back and read the previous post! of course becoming a gay would mean reverting back to your straight status. its all rather confusing but no worries you'll get used to it.

4) join a cult. i realized in my previous post that pretending to join a cult would maybe be too unbelievable. so join one! or you could form your own one! and state that every member must not have a boyfriend! and back it up with sop stories about how you cant live without it because of yadayada reasons!

5) send him a present under the name of another hot hot girl! then he would be too busy going to find out whether she really has the hots for him to give you a valentines day present! then that would give you the perfect excuse to dump him! haha smart right! yala i noe lah...

6) pack up and leave for the army! ok fine maybe its not so easy in singapore, but i heard that malaysia does have a female army!

7) sabo him! get him placed under permanent 'detention'! get him to flirt with his best friends sister!! haha it really is very simple - while he's standing next to him give her a push so that she falls onto him or something. that would really get his best friend riled up and they'll end up fighting and get placed in detention mwahahah!

8) tell him you dumped him.

9) kill him.

10) kill yourself.

glad to be of help! enjoy!

10 ways to dump a girl

are u hot? have u ever found yourself in a situation where girls are just swarming over you? are you with a girlfriend that you just hate to be with, but you're too afraid to dump her because her mom is your principal??

never fear, these are the 10 easiests ways to dump a girl that you are just sick of being with.

1) get another girlfriend! this is probably the easiest way to get rid of your present girlfriend. and it doesnt even have to be real! just tell a fib and watch her break into tears and try to bring back the old times of when you two used to go to the cinema together and feed each other popcorn (of course that was before she became the total b*tch she is now).

2) tell her you're off to fight a war, and you have gotten yourself a robot replacement without any love or feelings for members of the opposite sex. this is totally believable because she can never tell whether you're real or not, or she would have been smart enough to take the hint that you dun like her. when she questions you, just reply with a 'cant tell you its top secret. you wouldnt want the enemy to find out would you?'

3) become gay! best alternative! and also the most embarassing! but if youre that desperate, anything would do wouldnt it?

4) say you've joined a cult that states that you cannot be attached to any member of the opposite sex, or feel love for any woman. this is a much more face-saving alternative to solution 3, but still achieves the same effect. actually, all of them probably do or i wouldnt have included them in this list would i?

5) send her a present under the name of another hot hot guy. this would work best around valentines day, and if u dont give her a present, shell get really pissed. and take any other guy who gives her a present! you see one of the rules in gbrs is that the guy HAS to give the girl a present on valentines day. so if you dont, youre dumped! and thats what you want isnt it?

6) find another guy who has the hots for her and pretend to fight for her love, right in front of her. lose on purpose and watch him carry her away (dont forget the fake tears after that). if you're lucky he might just give you a small fee for you troubles. more than enough to cover your hospital bills i hope.

7) or you could just pack up and leave for another country.

8) exams always fit the bill. tell her you will spend more time with her after examinations (and they wont stop coming especially in rp) so effectively shes on her own from then. very soon she'll just forget all about you. (hey whadoyanoe? rp really IS good for something!)

9) kill her.

10) kill yourself!

:) pleasure to be of help!

i dunno if chee is going to post today lah but he got something really interesting haha w0rx.

anyway in view of what he is going to post, i would like to ask an interesting question: why do people +yP3 LiKe Diz w0rx?

izit cos they have nothing better to do?

izit cos they have no better way to type?

izit cos they seriously want to alter the entire alphabet system and take over the world in the proess establishing a leadership hierachy that forces the implementation of cute typing?

neither.

these people are really sad people.

it is because they have nothing cute to express their love to that they have to express it in public writing.

and people like retardpatrol ridicule them like they are nothing. in fact they are really sad, sad people.

so spare a thought for this pathetic bloggers. they have a heart too you know.

fifa street 2

well, since im still awake, i might as well get today's post done with. and today i shall be commenting, not on life, not on cock, but on fifa street 2!

yes fifa street 2, something that i have been craving to get all my life ever since i saw it in the march issue of gameaxis. too bad there was no review, so i gan gan just go and buy. that's what money is to me, gan gan qu yong. i think when i grow up ill be a garlic seller so maybe i can like strike garlic gold and get the best garlic importer in the world den everybody will buy my garlic.

well, my first impression of fifa street 2 was of f*ck its going to be the same as fifa street. no but it wasnt. the first thing that struck me was the shitty music.

wth lah what king of lyrics are these:

you are the sun
my only one

NO WONDER i kena lose to medium difficulty opponents.

so, as always, i tested out the game on mode. i have no idea why people keep changing the names of the different options. cant they just leave it as game on? why change it to play on or match on or click this thing to play a game between random teams that you can choose yourself although i have no idea why ea sports sets the same team as default all the time when i hate using it.

brazil vs south korea (obviously u noe which team i was using)

and i lost

cb i lost!

well one of the reasons is the stoopid decision to make almost every trick a lockable, so you see yourself doing the same trick over n over again. and only when you reach a certain level in rule the street mode would you then have a considerable repetoire at your disposal. (wah never knew repetoire was in my blogging dictionary. who cares if i spelt it wrong).

and now they make it such that the camera is overhead. what kind of suck angle is that wah lau u cant bloody see the ball at all lah. and especially when they make the f*cking tackling so bloody difficult...

and now there's some new option that allows you to perform the ultimate come back from 4-0 down with a gamebreaker. you get past all the three opposing players (and score), you win the game regardless of the score.

and nba street is enough. fifa street does not need to have trick point challenges because basically medium is too f*cking difficult for any beginner to get past. it says a lot when i actually took 30 minutes to master tackling, and another 10 minutes to get past the first six challenges which made up the first two series. hell, in fifa street i breezes through all of them.

so in my opinion fifa street 2 isnt really something worth buying. save up for the 360, its bound to produce better.

oh and did i mention that xbox360 games now cost a hafty 74.90? i bought fifa street at 59.90 and project gotham racing was going for 74.90 wth. must be more gan then can simply buy like what i did today. maybe i should listen to mc and get pirated ones.

post to take up the one post per day quota

this is a post to take up the one post per day quota

ri vs acs barker. who will win?

It hanow i have put forth this very interesting question about tomorrow's

waterpolo match, ri vs acs barker. i believe both teams are relatively

evenly matched, however, ri do have several distinct advantages.


first,




acs

barker crest so short ri so long so this represents our endurance

level, showing that ri players have much more stamina than barker

players.


second,




this

shows that ri boys can spell while barker boys cannot spell, thus

leading to a miscommunication and a screw up between the barker boys.

(this pic of acs baker is a swimming cap which i bought and is in no

case meant to be defamatory to the school of Anglo Chinese School

Barker Road, and that there is such a swimming cap)



enjoy.

today i shall attempt to answer one of life's many questions - what is life?

well, one of the first things you have to know about life is that it has questions, or this post would have been impossible.

but so what if it has questions? does it make it questionable? no? is life questionable? would it be questionable if im questioning it now?

so life is questionable.

is life always right?

is it? do you regret the time you poured hot soup onto your face and ended up looking like the shit you are now? yes? so were you right?

hell no.

so life isnt always right.

does life have a head?

probably, since it knows exactly when to screw you up at just the right time. like how it made the soup hot just at the moment you poured it onto your face. if it had been cold, then it wouldnt have made much of a difference, since you would only have been smelling like a fish.

so my guess is that life has a head.

but what about the other organs? can life have sex?

look at your children (if you have one) isnt it the result of life having sex? two of your lives having sex? no? yes? no?

so life is completely human if you look at it.

so in simple words, life is a garlic seller.

a garlic seller is questionable as he may be selling rotten garlics, and he knows when to screw you up with a well placed garlic right beneath the sole of your shoe so that you slip and fall on your butt. and he seriously has all his organs in place.

life is a garlic seller, and dont you forget it.